Some people are reserved. Some people are not. Some people are in between. Me, I like being the center of attention. I often say I am a misanthrope because if I'm injected into a social situation where I am not the center of attention, I tend to remove myself. But if eyes are on me, boy do I love to be at the center. Mmm, mmm, mmm. :)
Along those lines, I am thus not one who keeps things reserved. Bottling up never lasts long and I just need to get things out so I can keep moving. Being ill for a couple weeks sucks. Being ill while one's wife is on a business trip sucks more. I think I subsisted on corn Chex, chicken strips, and cough drops. It also left me a lot of time to dwell in my own thoughts. When my brain is too taxed fighting germs that I cannot even muster the energy to write, mustering the strength to persevere is equally impossible. It's easy to get in a self-defeatist frame of mind when one is sick.
But hey, I'm not sick any more! Well, my cough hasn't gone away, but otherwise I'm better. I'm writing again, and writing things that don't suck. And I'm hopeful for the future again. I still have all the same insecurities I had a few days ago, but I have the wherewithal to look past those to my next manuscript.
Keep that in mind. It's okay to have fears. It's even okay to talk about your fears (but don't do it too often). In the end, if you're going to make it, you move past all that. Otherwise you're defeated before you even begin.
Cheers to you, friends. Thanks for letting me vent.
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5 comments:
I'm an extroverted introvert, which might be an actual thing, or maybe I just made it up. In general I'm reserved among strangers, but vie to be the center of attention when with friends or family (or when in the improv class I recently joined).
Congrats on having vanquished your foul illness. I look forward to the day when I might say the same.
I use that exact term as well! I think an extroverted introvert is the best way to describe it.
I always find I am at my most morose when I am not feeling well. It's like your brain takes advantage of you while your body is weak as well. Stupid brain!
I've given you the Versatile Blogger Award, so pop over to my blog for details.
I'm sorry I missed this post, and I hope you're finally feeling better! You can always vent to me (I'm sure you know that by now).
I appreciate it! But don't worry, it wasn't anything serious. I was really sick, so much so, I couldn't write. Taking away my writing is like taking away an alcoholic's bottle. The immediate effects are pretty ugly.
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