May 25, 2012

Fuckis

When I was in college, everyone I knew had seen Mallrats. If I said "fuckis," I didn't have to explain what that meant. Unfortunately, the fortune teller scene from Mallrats isn't on YouTube so if you haven't seen the movie, I can't explain it to you.

Lately, I've needed to improve my fuckis. I'm querying a manuscript, and usually I'll take a little bit of time off before starting something new. (It used to be tow weeks, then one, then at least a couple days.) But, because I held off on the final draft before querying, I finished a first draft of another book. So I've been revising that one to get it in shape for sending to beta readers. There are some things getting in the way of that.

I got a new CPAP machine, and I don't think it's as effective as my old one. I'm tired more often, although it's not as bad as when I first got it.

I finished my December "busy schedule" months late (as content was turned over late, not because I'm not awesome) and unfortunately that rolled right into my summer busy season. So I'm kind of tired because there was no down time. There are also big changes going on at work, which means a lot of people making a lot of mistakes, and I have to run around with my hands in the air going, "No, no that's not right! Stop that! Stop that this instant!"

I downloaded "Towers n Trolls" to my phone. I've had bad luck with tower defense games before. None of them really held my interest. This one, despite it's pay-to-play structure after level 2, has been scratching that itch. Usually I play it until the conductor sees my pass and then I bust out the computer. But today, I played it all the way into Boston (and on the subway and during lunch). I've beaten the game already, but now I'm beating on BRUTAL! and for some reason, I'm making that effort. I don't usually need to make that effort, but this time around I am. *shrug*

It's also leading to a lot of introspection. I've mentioned that I prefer intrigue to standard adventure, but I keep writing adventure instead of intrigue. It feels like I used up all my intrigue juice writing D&D adventures, and I'm just waiting for it to rejuvenate. I gotta take a break from adventure, though. These stories are starting to feel too similar.

How's your work going? Are you writing? Because you said you were going to put more effort into writing, so you should be doing that. Chop chop, and stuff.

3 comments:

  1. Oh I wish I had your ability to pump out book after book. I take soooooooo long to write. My first novel took around three years (after about twenty of thinking about that storyline). I began this second one more than a year ago. I got 13 chapters done before having to move last summer, then I did nothing more until two weeks ago. Now I have done two new chapters, one each week, as well as revising a bit of the old ones to match the new material. Still, it is so slow. Even if I manage one new chapter a week I won't finish the book this year.

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  2. SLOOOOOW. Lots of busy time that I can't write has made me think lots of Deep Thoughts about my writing in general. How ambivalent I feel. How hard I seem to have finishing a first draft, and the guilt that comes with feeling like I am just being lazy, when in reality every end of a first draft stirs up a whirlwind of conflicting emotion.

    SO I am getting my head straight. It's time to do or die, and I've got to stop psyching myself out. Also, trying to carve out writing time to make things happen.

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  3. @Ted: Speed doesn't matter as much as quality. I need my first drafts to be better. I know that I say that first drafts are always crap (and they are), but I need them to be less crappy so that I can improve the second draft to a higher level of perfection. I can't tell how much, if any, time I would be given to engage in my current process. Not that it's an intentional process. It's just the process that's evolving by writing and rewriting and writing something new and rewriting... The short of it: I need to be better.

    @Liz: Every new mom experiences this. Give it some time, and you'll find the rhythm. Also, yes, finish a first draft. I demand it!

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