Joseph L. Selby

Some questions are asked frequently enough that a FAQ seemed appropriate. I've tried to keep them in some semblance of an order, but, well yeah. If you have a question that isn't listed below, go to Contact Me for details. There's no guarantee that I'll be able to answer, but you never know.

Q: What machine do you write on?

    A: I use a 10" Asus Eee PC. It is large enough to have a full keyboard while small enough to be usable in public without requiring a lot of space. I don't write well at home, so I go elsewhere. Sitting in a seat, I can open it on my lap and have the screen fully visible rather than pinned against the seat in front of me. It fits on a counter while leaving room for my plate of eggs and sausage. Older models have the up arrow and the shift key in awkward positions (there are hacks online to switch your keys, which is what I did). I believe there has been enough feedback that newer models have switched the two keys. If you see a netbook, remember that they only came about because Asus proved that the mini-PC was viable. I always reward innovation, even if larger companies that followed make a better deal. Companies like Asus and Netflix revolutionize the way electronic media is experienced.

Q: The Eee PC doesn't have an optical drive. What software do you use?

    A: I use Open Office. All the software on my Eee PC is free and downloadable. I write and edit in Open Office. Once the manuscript is complete, I transfer the file to my larger laptop and convert to Word. The one drawback with OO is tab marks do not format the same way as Word and disappear when content is moved into other platforms. Word is the industry standard and finished manuscripts should be formatted to reach the widest audience possible. (Once you're a NYT #1 Bestselling Author, then you can use some archaic word processor like Word Star or something.)

Q: Do you write full time?

    A: It's certainly a goal, but no, I do not write full time. I work in Higher Education publishing (but not in acquisitions, so if you have an idea for a textbook, I am not the person to talk to). I write in my spare time. You'd be amazed at how much spare time a person has if they cut out other past times. Limit yourself to five episodes of television a week and see how much time materializes all of a sudden.

Q: Where do you write?

    A: I commute from southern New Hampshire to Boston for work. Part of that commute is an hour-long train ride on the MBTA. That means I get two hours of dedicated writing time five days a week. Write 1000 words per hour and you'll finish a 100,000-word first draft in fifty days. Obviously that's not always possible, but thankfully Nashua is home to Jackie's Diner, the greatest breakfast diner in the United States. While Carol (the owner) isn't keen on people bringing laptops in, I'm a regular, and I never hold the seat if other customers are waiting. The staff there has been very supportive of my effort.

Q: You seem to obsess over Jackie's. Is it really that good?

    A: Capital P, capital S = Perfect Sausage. It's so good it has to be capitalized. P B = Perfect Bacon. If you love breakfast food, you have to go to Jackie's. And they serve Green Mountain coffee. Keep your Starbucks. Give me some Breakfast Blend.

 Q: Why did you get into writing?

    A: I didn't get into writing. Writing got into me. I wrote my first story when I was in first grade (a movie years later had the same plot; I wonder if they know they copied a first grader). I tried to do plenty of things instead. I wanted to be in the military. I was going to be a computer engineer and then a teacher. I could never get away. I could never make something more important. So here I am, all these years later. Perhaps I should reprise that story from first grade. Clearly it's got movie deal written all over it. (Giant spiders attack the Empire State Building, in case you're wondering.)

Q: Has working in Higher Education publishing given you a leg up in Commercial Trade Publishing?

    A: Yes and no. It hasn't given me a leg up in terms of contacts or leverage for getting published. The two groups are separate in that respect. But I've seen how the sausage is made, and that's something that can be hard to come to terms with. I see the good and the bad how manuscripts are treated...and how authors are treated...and how editors are treated. Seeing the intricacies of a P&L sheet puts everything in perspective.

Q: What are your hobbies?

    A: I have the good fortune of having a strong board gaming group in Nashua. Every Monday thirty people get together and play a variety of board games. I host a bi-weekly role playing group (using the Savage Worlds system). I regularly attend the Huntington Theatre in Boston (Broadway isn't the only place for A-grade theatre) as well as New Hampshire community theatre. I have a large movie collection and my bookshelves sway from the weight they hold. Once vendors find a more intelligent DRM structure, I look forward to buying all my new books electronically. Until then, it's paper books for me. The hobby I miss the most is sailing. I haven't sailed for 14 years. Get a one-man laser, take it out on the water and fly. I could do that all day.

Q: Where do you get your ideas from?

    A: Never the same place twice, though the shower seems to be the most frequent occurrance (of course, since I can't write anything down in there). For BLACK MAGIC AND BARBECUE SAUCE, I was working for a publisher in St. Louis when I read the caption of an article. There was an Irish sailor named Jack Spratt. How interesting! I wonder if he could eat no fat. Did he have a wife that could eat no lean? Are there people out there that require specific foods to give them special powers or to extend their natural lives? Is that why there's a rhyme about him, because so many people have met Jack over the centuries and he could never eat any fat? Cy, before I chose to use Poseidon as my main character, was an Irishman named Jack. When I began exploring mythological gods as immortals, I gravitated toward Poseidon because I wanted the character to be a sailor in Ireland later in his life and Poseidon was easier to truncate to a modern name than someone like Zeus or Apollo. I occasionally find scraps of notes from my early brainstorming. Jack and his roommate Bruce in their apartment in St. Louis. I destroy them as quickly as possible so no one sees how bad they are.

Q: Will you sign my copy of your book?

    A: Absolutely! It doesn't even have to be my book. Joseph L. Selby = attention whore.

Q: Will you read something I've written?

    A: I am a writer and not an agent for a very good reason. I am constitutionally incapable of reading someone else's work with the measured eye an agent or editor provides. I eviscerate my own writing, and would not feel comfortable doing the same to someone I am not close with. Nathan Bransford has a good explanation why that is.

 Q: Will you collaborate on a project with me?

    A: There are two types of creative people. There's the type that does well collaboratively. And there's the type that...doesn't. When it comes to how I create, I need control of the reins. In every collaborative project I've ever participated in, I've been fortunate enough to work with someone who wanted to take a back seat or quickly fell away from the project after the initial brainstorming to leave me to my own devices. I like my devices. It's best I keep them to myself.

 Q: If I am going to experience one [medium], what should it be?

    A: You should read Louis Carrol's ALICE IN WONDERLAND. You should go see August Wilson's Fences. You should watch Firefly. You should listen to Jesse Cook's "Live in Montreal." You should watch OUT OF SIGHT. If you accomplish this all in one day, you will achieve enlightenment and ascend to nirvana.

 Q: Firefly is the greatest television series ever! Fox was so stupid!

    A: Yes it is and yes they were. My license plate in Missouri had the St. Louis Zoo lion (Am I a lion?) with the letters BRNCOT. People who knew, got it immediately. People who didn't asked me what "burn cot" meant. Clearly their lives are hollow and meaningless. As soon as I have $40 million, I'm going to finance another Firefly movie. I demand more!